In Loving Memory of Buddy and Frankie
Buddy and Frankie - how they loved each other! Buddy lived a good and long life, but our little Frankie was taken from me way too soon - he wasn't yet 3 years old when he developed cancer in his throat area and there was no hope. He was suffering, so we had to do what we had to do - put my baby to sleep. I could never let him suffer!
Buddy was 10 years old when he passed. Frankie was nearly 3 years old. When we first brought Frankie home, weighing 2 pounds and who loved pouncing on Buddy ever time he could, Buddy was not thrilled to say the least that he had this little "whatever it was" jumping on him, grabbing his tail and just generally being a pest when Buddy preferred sleep to harassment, no matter how innocent and sweet it could be.
Needless to say, it was not love at first sight when they first met - but their relationship evolved into one where they loved each other very much. They were brothers.
I got Frankie after I lost my darling Teddy, also from cancer. Frankie was so tiny and even as he grew, he never weighed more than 7 pounds. He became my personal therapy dog and he went everywhere with me - even to the doctor's. He was so well behaved and everyone loved him! When we would go to a doctor's appointment, the first thing everyone would ask, is "where is Frankie?" - they all loved him so much. He loved them too - very outgoing, as most Poms are, he loved the people and of course, the extra attention, but he was my baby and he would cuddle close to me, curled up content to be carried in this special bag I have that I wear.
Losing Frankie was so painful. But I was not the only one to suffer greatly from his death. Buddy missed him terribly. From the time Frankie was gone, Buddy seemed to exist, not live. He had suffered so many losses in his life - losing so many of the cat and dog relations he had lived with and loved so much. Every time he lost yet another friend, his eyes would become that much sadder, his movements that much slower. I know he was depressed. No one can ever convince me otherwise and that is why he gained so much weight too. Just like us, when he was so sad, he woudl eat constantly. We put him on diets, tried everything, but he would find something to eat, birdseed - he would hunt for himself, squirrels, chipmunks, birds, insects if necessary. He needed some comfort and while we loved him so much, I don't think it could ever fulfill that huge empty place in his heart for all that he had lost in his life.
His first and biggest loss I believe was Bear. Bear was a half-Chow, half-lab female we rescued from some guy who had her tied to a tree with a huge chain - no water - no food - no shelter and on a busy street where traffic roared back and forth and it drove poor Bear crazy. She hated cars and motorycycles - getting her into a car to go to the vet was a near impossibility.
Every chance she got, she would escape out the front door and out into the road she would go, chasing cars, running around, and though we would call her and call her, she would not return until she was good and ready and we were terrified she'd be hit by a car, and at 80-85 pounds, she could cause a serious accident too, presenting a very real danger to others.
We tried so hard with her. But sometimes we didn't see her coming - she could move so fast - as she pushed her way by us, racing out the front door. She knocked both of us down and we are both disabled. Then one day she killed our neighbor's chickens and while he was a good neighbor about it, the last time she did it, it was one of his pet chickens and I felt terrible. That was his pet and he was saddened by its death.
I loved her so much. She was a sweet and lovable dog - very loyal to me and Bud and the other dogs - (she only tolerated the cats), and she was very protective of us. She was like a huge black bear and I believe our home was the only she ever had where she received the love and attention she deserved.
She loved Buddy as if he were her own pup. She spoiled him terribly. What a brat he was! He wanted everything she had - bones, cookies and so forth and he would lay right in front of her face and do his Beagle howl and she would give up what she had to him, every single time. She could never say no to him, she loved him so much.
But there were continued concerns with her rushing to the front door every time she heard it open. She could be laying in the back bedroom, and she would come racing out like a maniac, headed for that doorway and freedom beyond. She wanted to kill the cars that came down the road, that is how much she hated them.
In 2001 I had ovarian cancer and had to have surgery and my husband was afraid she would knock me down again. There were the concerns with her chicken killing. So, it was nearly impossible for me to do, but I took her to a shelter not far from home, a no-kill shelter, hoping she would get another good home. She was there about a week, nearly 2, when I went back there and got her. I couldn't stand the thought of her being locked up in there - it was like a jail for her - and I know how little she had most of her life. She belonged with us, and Buddy missed her so much, I was adamant. She was coming back home.
Buddy of course, was thrilled. His Momma was home! He was so happy when she came back home. She protected and loved him and he needed that.
Sadly it did not last long. She ran out again, and knocked my husband down, injuring him. She never meant it of course. But she was a big strong dog and she was powerful as she ran out the door and she was only intent on getting out into that road to "kill" those cars!
It was the hardest decision I had to make. She was a healthy dog. But there was no way I could take her back to the shelter. I remember the look in her eyes when I went there to pick her up. She was like the walking dead - going from our loving home where she curled up on the bed with me, to a building, that was cold and had cells - and don't get me wrong, the shelter does its very best to help all animals and they care about them, but they are always short on funding. They can't provide every dog and cat with a loving home, like they get with their own family. But I couldn't return her there - so I made the decision to put her down. That was after I tried to find her a new home. But few people want a fully grown dog, who has long-term behavior problems and fears that she would probably never recover from. I just felt she would be better off and wouldn't be suffering or unhappy - she had nearly 5 years of a good life with us and us with her. I would have done anything to avoid doing this, but this was the only way I would know without doubt, she would be safe and not suffering in any way. I owed her that protection.
So, we took her to our vet and in seconds, she was gone. I will never forget it and how much it hurt to do that. I will always miss her. But I try to think of the good memories of her and the loving beautiful dog she was. She deserved so much more in her life. People should not take in any dog or cat if they cannot provide that animal with a loving and safe home - where he/she receives all their medical shots, good food, shelter from the elements and most of all, a family that loves them with all their hearts.
However, Buddy was beside himself. It was heartbreaking to watch him. He would go out back where they spent so many good days together and he would search for her constantly. He would sit at the top of the steps and look right and then left, searching, always searching for his Momma Bear. He had Teddy and that helped tremendously and he loved the cats too - especially Cubby, she treated him like her baby too. With Bear gone, she could now lay on the bed with Buddy and the other cats and wash him and groom him and give him love. But he never stopped missing Bear and I know they are all together now. He suffered grief with the passing of each one of our cats, and especially Cubby. He was such a loving, silly, shy and funny dog. He loved his animal relations with all his heart too. I know he never recovered from the pain of each loss. The sadness he felt would only deepen.
Then came Frankie and after a short period of not wanting to be bothered - (this was after he lost his Teddy) - Frankie and he bonded. It was so funny, to see Buddy - a big ole fat Beagle, with this tiny little Pomeranian. Sometimes, outside together, Frankie would lay on top of Buddy. They were so funny together.
Frankie, like I said, was loved by everyone he met - human and animal. He was so adorable and such a character! Later on, we brought a new brother home, Tommy. Another Pomeranian - all black and the only pup in his litter. He was so fat from having all the milk to himself - that we couldn't tell which end was which when he was a pup. (laughing). Tommy and Frankie became fast friends and Tommy became Daddy's boy. He is so attached to Raven, he doesn't know what to do when Raven goes out and can't take Tommy with him. After we lost our Frankie, we got another Pomeranian, Nicky - who reminds me so much of Teddy. He too, is another one who loves people so much - he's a real ham too - like Teddy. He loves to pose for photographs and he loves to go out and see people - there isn't anyone he doesn't like.
By the time we got Nicky, Buddy's health was getting worse. He showed little interest in Tommy or Nicky - he just wanted to be left alone. I believe when he lost Frankie, that was all his poor heart could take. He had lost so many loved ones in his lifetime. His heart was broken and now his body was too and he went home not long after Frankie's death.
They are buried side by side on our land. They are together for all eternity. The Beagle and the Pom who loved each other so much. Bear is with them too - so is Teddy and Cubby and all the cats that Buddy loved - and Bear, I'm sure, has learned to love, while Frankie is getting to know cats. In her lifetime with us, she had never even seen one. After we lost our Minnie, we couldn't bear to get another and risk another loss after so many years of living together.
The Spirits of these loving, loyal and precious animal relations - our fur babies, as we call them, surround us on the land. A few were not buried, but were cremated and they are with us too. I will never forget all the good times I had with them - the comfort they brought to me through my illnesses, the laughter and joy and the pure love they gave so freely and so generously.
They are truly a precious gift given to us by Creator. Some people will say, oh big deal! it's just a dog or it's just a cat! I feel sorry for those people. They have never known the joy I have during my lifetime with the wonderful and loving fur babies that were an important part of my life all their lives. When I was laying in bed, in pain and struggling, the comfort and love - the peace - they gave to me, cannot be easily described in words - but in feelings - it is the most overwhelming emotion one can experience - the connection to that loving, loyal and sweet animal.
Not one will EVER BE FORGOTTEN!!!!
I've put together a visual presentation of photos of Buddy and Frankie together and alone, and I have also included some photos of Tommy and Nicky and now, our latest baby, Chico, my Chihuahua.
In the future, we'll be sharing more photos of Tommy, Nicky and Chico. They are our three boys now. They love one another just as much as all the others have loved one another in the past - as relatives - as brothers and sisters as spiritual, living, loving, creations by the Great Spirit who gives life to all. We are one Clan - one family.
I will never forget any dog or cat or bird I've had in my life - although the birds were really my Mother's greatest loves - they loved her so much and "put up" with the rest of us. She had an affinity with the birds - just our her Father, my Grandpa did.
Every dog that has shared my walk in life, has meant as much as to me, as if he or she were my child. Animal lovers - those who have known the love of a dog or cat or bird - or whatever yoru choice or connection is, knows that there is no purer love in life. It doesn't matter to them what we look like, how much money or material things we have or don't have, what color our skin may be - where we live - the only thing that matters is love - the love we give to them and the overwhelming amount of love they give back in return.
I can never imagine living my life without an animal to share it and to grace it. My Dad, 87 years old now, will happily repeat stories of me when I was a little girl - and how I'd bring home any stray there might be for miles around. "If there was a dog or cat out there, Jeanne would find it." he'll say and he start laughing. I can't imagine life being otherwise - how sad and empty it would be not to have a fur baby.
So, in memory of Buddy and Frankie - I sure do miss you both so much! My little Frankie - I love my Chico - and my Nicky and Tommy - but no one could ever replace you! You were one in a million and Buddy! How I miss you ole boy. I never thought I'd miss tripping over you. But I do! I miss you howling up near the woods at the bear as he keeps a safe distance. I miss your overjoyed howl when we return home from doing some errands - as you would rush up to the van door, wiggling all over - so happy we have returned home. I'll never forget the time you stole the hawk's freshly caught meal! That was one shocked hawk! lol
Someday, when my time comes to cross over - I know you'll all be waiting for me at Rainbow Bridge. What a day that will be! I'll be so happy to have you all back with me again. Forever and ever.
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